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Monday, May 4, 2015
Once again, I am the one who wrote the questions titled "Ashamed" and "Follow-Up Question" before. I feel I need to tell you the exact nature of what happened so you can advise me accordingly. The dirty movie I saw and then repeated had a girl kissing another girl "down there." Again, it only happened once, and my relative acts very normal around me and always has. However, what I didn`t mention before is that she does have rather violent outbursts with her parents from time to time. Then again, her father is extremely verbally abusive and has been her whole life. I am afraid, though, that what I did to her could be a cause for this kind of behavior, even if she doesn`t remember. I feel such deep guilt for what I did and feel that I do not deserve happiness in my life because of it. If my family or fiancee found out, it would shatter them and me. I am a completely normal and caring person now, and the thought of doing that to a child disgusts me. I have no explanation for what I did, other than youth and curiosity. Your advice is precious to me, since I have never admitted this to anyone. Thank you for your response.
I am not able to provide you with any more information at this time than I could in my answer to your earlier question. Please talk with your healthcare provider about your questions or seek counseling to discuss your concerns and feelings of guilt with a professional.
Robert Shapiro, MD
Professor of Clinical Pediatrics
College of Medicine
University of Cincinnati